This text was written as I learn to live with Long Covid and attempt to regain my creativity. All the posts and some more info can be found here.
Excuse the messiness of this post. It was written and edited whilst I was full of brain fog, pain, and general discomfort. But hey, done is better than perfect. So here's a ramble about picking up a tree and thinking of electric bikes.
I take a slow tour of the room, my eyes scanning the laminated paper on the tables for the basic information about the trees and hedges on display. Most of them are in their winter bark but a few have a display of evergreen leaves and spikes. A small crowd is fast gathering in the large council room. Today, the local council is offering free trees and wildflower seeds packets as part of their response to the climate crisis. The advert claimed that "All trees/hedges should fit in a standard car." I took this to mean, it would fit in a standard bicycle pannier. Volunteers seem amazed at the boldness of my action: I have come on a bicycle.
I do not have the energy to explain cars are not needed for this, words fogged up in my brain and all I can say is 'It's fine. I've carried a lot worse on my bike'. I smile full of confidence and nonchalance. What I want is a discussion on why for a hyper local event in response to the climate crisis, the ad made no mention that 'all trees will fit in a standard bicycle pannier or a large backpack to be carried home on foot.' The car park is filled with vehicles and I see no one on a bicycle or on foot.
I let the enthusiastic volunteer wrap the firethorn I have picked in black plastic bags even though it is unnecessary, and I let another volunteer sign me up for a mailing list about a planned new community orchard even though the physical work is beyond what I can do. I am fatigued today. I should not have come but I could not the resist the offer of a free tree and wildflower seeds. As soon as I can, I return to my bicycle and pedal home. My head is filled with the possibilities of future trips, of different outings, of a return to my commute. I have learned the day before that my uncle is sending some money to all his niece and nephews, enough that I can consider an electric bicycle without taking out a loan for it.
The idea slowly sinks in and sticks to my brain. I know next to nothing about electric bicycles other than they are expensive. I am not even sure they would allow me to cycle more but I have but I have a strong suspicion that they would. I know they do not power me forward. I would still have to pedal but I would not have to pedal quite as hard. I could return to my commute, the one I miss with such force that it hurts to think of it, of the dark wet lanes full of potholes and tree shadows. I could again take a train and cycle somewhere nice for a picnic. I could broaden the range of campsites available to me. I could... I stop myself. I have not ever sat atop an electric bike. I do not not even know what to look for.
I secure my bicycle under the shed, unlock my phone, and open Mastodon. I ask about electric bikes and wait. As I wait, I leave the tree in the garden, in the sunniest spot I can find. 'We're going to have to wait until the ground returns to mush and mud before we plant you.' I trash the bin bags that wrapped it into the black bin outside the house and get back inside.
I brew a cup of tea and settle at the computer to start my research on electric bikes. I feel giddy with excitement. For the first time in months, I can glimpse the possibility of a future in which cycling is again a part of my life, in which my world opens up wider than the boundaries of my garden and local parks.
PS: recommendations and advice about electric bikes are still very much welcomed.